Scientists Warn Americans To Stay Away From That Bird
‘That Bird Is Doing A Weird Thing With Its Wings And It Looks Dirty,’ Scientists Report
Surmising that the animal was probably sick and most definitely filthy, Stanford University scientists warned Americans Monday to just stay away from that bird. “It’s doing a weird thing with its wings, and it just looks all grimy,” said researcher Emily Carden, emphasizing that Americans should avoid going anywhere near the bird as scientists had no idea where it had been. “Who knows what this bird’s deal is, but you can tell there’s something wrong with it. It was kind of walking in a circle a bit ago, but now it’s just picking at one of its nasty-looking feathers and making a strange noise. It might be dying, but it could probably still fly right at you if it wanted to. It’s just so gross.” At press time, researchers were urging Americans to remain quiet while they tried to gently poke at the bird with a long stick.

EVALUATE
When scientists want to solve a problem, they conduct research. Scientists usually consult one another and create a research team. The scientists engage in intellectual and civil discourse throughout the entire time they are conducting their research, bouncing ideas back and forth off one another, trying to solve the problem efficiently.

At the conclusion of their research, the scientists write an “executive summary”.

An executive summary, or management summary, is a short document or section of a document, produced for business and scientific purposes, that summarizes a longer report or proposal or a group of related reports in such a way that readers can rapidly become acquainted with a large body of material without having to read it all.

According the article, “researchers were urging Americans to remain quiet while they tried to gently poke at the bird with a long stick.” Following this line of reasoning, what should Americans do next? Write an argument.